Man Food

Esquire Magazine: it is smart, funny, sarcastic, and classy. The magazine’s “people-who-read-this-magazine-are-smarter-or-at-least-definitely-better-overall-than-anyone-else” tone is what sets it apart from other magazines for men; GQ is too cliché and Maxim is too slimy. Esquire readers enjoy intelligent articles about anything from serious social and political issues to what the next electronic gadgets will be or tips on how to make a pie by Mary Louise Parker. While they can still certainly be scandalous, I have to admit their articles on women always incorporate some kind of interesting angle. All this talk about class makes the following excerpt (which will serve as this posting's recipe) from the latest issue seem out of place:

When I'm at the stoves, I rarely have time to eat a plate of food from start to finish, so lately I've commissioned my girlfriend to make me this sandwich every few days, and I just eat sections of it when I need to: Take a large, airy baguette with a thin crust, cut off the ends, and carve out as much of the insides as you can using a long, skinny knife or the handle of a wooden spoon. Then take whatever you like from the deli counter — prosciutto, ham, salami, some provolone, marinated vegetables — and jam everything in there with the spoon handle. Fire the whole thing in the oven for about 15 minutes at 350 degrees and slice it up. —Dennis Leary, The Sentinel, San Francisco

Really? Hollow out a baguette, and use the end of a large stick to shove meat and cheese and who knows what else deep down into it? This sounds barbaric, messy, crude, manly, and well, delicious. Best of all, Esquire calls this concoction "Meat Bread". When I described the process to my male coworkers I was met with wide eyes and smiles. One of them compared the technique to packing a musket which I think is fairly accurate. While this technique would never be considered the height of class, it works. I can testify to that through the art of photography.



I like to imagine the possibilities of what can be packed into the hollowed baguette, but I think your fantasy meat bread recipe will depend on your personal preference.



I am sure I will be making this again, but this time I used ground beef, colby jack cheese, and homemade tomato sauce. Why?...because that is what I had. It tasted like a meatball sub. Here it is, all stuffed and ready for toasting:



For a successful loaf of meat bread, make sure to stuff the hollowed out baguette to the limit without breaking the crust open (as seen in the first picture). Do it.

Ballbusters

This is a tribute to Ballbusters. The following are a few that stick out in my mind as women who's accomplishments are often overlooked because of their overbearing, ballbusting qualities:

Hillary "monochromatic suit" Clinton: Whether you agree with her politics or not, this lady knows how to hold it together under certain stressful circumstances.

Kate "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" Gosselin: Some say she is a "MOMster", driving her husband into the arms of a 23 year-old schoolteacher. But, I don't want to even try to imagine where she would be without her ambition, her git-r-done personality with the kids , and a lame husband to boss around? Who knows?

Anna "The Devil Wears Prada" Wintour: She is quite possibly the most intimidating woman in the world to men and women alike, serving as the basis for the character of 'Miranda Priestly' played by Meryl Streep in the 2006 comedy, The Devil Wears Prada. Her sharp fashion sense and ability to make snap-quick decisions made her the successful editor-in-chief of American Vogue. I am tempted to crown her queen of the ballbusters, but as is in all areas of life, there will always be someone one step ahead. Sorry Anna Wintour.



Meat Ballbusters:

(based on a recipe from recipezaar.com)

This recipe makes a bunch of balls (depending on how big or small you make them). They are especially delicious when you cook them by dropping them in a nice chunky homemade tomato sauce (recipe coming soon). The flavors mix with each other when cooked slowly like that.

1 ½ lbs ground beef
1 large egg, slightly beaten
½ C grated parmesan cheese
1/3 C breadcrumbs (or use enough to hold the meat together)
1-2 tbsp fresh minced garlic (or use 1 teaspoon garlic powder or to taste)
1-2 tsp salt (or to taste, I use 2 teaspoons seasoned salt)
1 tsp fresh ground black pepper
1/3 C milk (can use up to 1/2 cup milk)
½ tsp dried oregano (optional, or to taste)
¼ C chopped fresh parsley (or 2 tablespoons dried parsley)

Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl.

Shape into small meatballs (at this point you can place on a jelly-roll/baking sheet and freeze to use later, or cover with plastic wrap refrigerate up to 24 hours before using).

Drop the meatballs into simmering pasta sauce, do not stir for at least 20 minutes or you will risk breaking the meatballs.

Continue cooking in the simmering sauce for another 20 minutes (depending on how fast your sauce is simmering 40 minutes total should fully cook the meatballs).

After the 40 minutes cooking time continue cooking your sauce with the meatballs in for as long as desired.

* you may also bake the meatballs at 350 degrees F for 25 minutes or until cooked through.

You can also serve these as an appetizer, sprinkling the balls with some fresh parmesan cheese. The ground beef mixture also makes nice juicy gourmet hamburgers. Although I would not necessarily use it for a traditional ketchup, mustard, and cheddar cheese, and bacon all-American style burger. I would probably pair a burger patty made with this meat with some asiago cheese (or another dry, aged type of cheese), sun dried tomatoes (or sun dried tomato paste), caramelized onions (or thinly sliced fresh ones), some mixed greens, and a nice fancy artisan style bun to make more of a fancy burger...if you like that sort of thing.

This is a picture of these balls in a homemade sauce (again, recipe soon to come):